Yes, it's that time of the year. The most wonderful time of the year. The fun, exciting, blessed time of the year. Or that's what it's supposed to be.
For me, it's the time of year that the sorrow, emptiness, and grief somehow seems stronger. Lucas is gone...never to be here again. Linsy and the grandkids are in another state, not even sure if they'll come up. So it's just Wade, Lezly and I. I'm grateful that I'm not alone on Christmas...there are so many who are. But I remember the times when the house was full of kid's laughter, traditions, Christmas music, smells of goodies, presents wrapped, anticipation, excitement. Now our house is filled with silence. I try to make it happy...I do. But I cannot do it alone. It's just not the same anymore.
It's true what they say...Christmas is for children. I see that now. I love to see how excited they are in the stores looking at the toys and talking of Santa. They are pleased and grateful with what they get as gifts. Oh how things change when they get older. The gifts wanted become more expensive and being grateful is often a thing of the past. They are jealous of what others get and sometimes pout and complain and really lose the true meaning of Christmas. We all do!
The real gift is LOVE. Why can't it be given more? Why do we not share what we have, whether little or big, with those less fortunate? Why can't we be nicer to people? To family? To strangers? Isn't that what the true meaning of Christmas is?
So I will look around to see what I can share. I will try to smile more and love more. I will be grateful and remind myself of the true meaning of Christmas. I will do what I can to see joy on someone's face. To show someone what a blessed, wonderful time of the year it is. Of course, I will do this for others....even tho I can't do it for myself.
Oh Lord, how I need You during this holiday, for I cannot do it alone! It's Christmas time and I need a Christmas miracle!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I'm struggling....
Today has been a struggle. I have tried so hard to hold it together and not break down and cry in front of teachers, friends, family. I did good earlier in the day....but I can't hold it in any longer. Now I'm trying really hard to quit crying.
Last year at this time, we were struggling with all the 1st's that we were having to deal with without our son: the 1st Cowboys football game, the 1st Halloween, the 1st Thanksgiving, the 1st Christmas, the 1st birthday, the 1st New Years. It was extremely painful. This year seems harder somehow. I look at pictures and it hits me that he's missing from them. I think of Thanksgiving dinner and it hits me that he won't be sitting at the table with the rest of us. I think of Christmas presents I still need to purchase and it hits me that his gifts will no longer be under the tree. It hits me that as I decorate our tree, his ornaments will not be put up by him, only by one of us. I guess last year I was still in shock with it all....and this year it has hit me hard.
I'm not sure if Linsy and the babies will get to be here for Thanksgiving or Christmas. She lives too far away from me and I don't like it!! It hurts me that I don't get to see her as often as I need to. I miss her so much! At times I feel like I've lost her too!
Lezly has her good days and bad days....but I've realized that the good days are few and far between. I know how hard she's fighting for those good days. I'm trying to fight right beside her too....but it gets hard. And if it's hard for me to continue fighting, I know it HAS to be so much harder for her. And that hurts me.
And Wade....bless his heart. He has endured so much pain with all this and yet he has been so strong. Having to be strong for not only himself but for us girls too! He has been my rock throughout all this....but I know he's hurting too. I worry about his health with all this stress and the heartaches. And it scares me.
Lord, I so need your help!! How can I be there for my family when I can't even be there for myself? How can I be strong for them when I can't even be strong for myself?
Today I'm struggling.....but hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Last year at this time, we were struggling with all the 1st's that we were having to deal with without our son: the 1st Cowboys football game, the 1st Halloween, the 1st Thanksgiving, the 1st Christmas, the 1st birthday, the 1st New Years. It was extremely painful. This year seems harder somehow. I look at pictures and it hits me that he's missing from them. I think of Thanksgiving dinner and it hits me that he won't be sitting at the table with the rest of us. I think of Christmas presents I still need to purchase and it hits me that his gifts will no longer be under the tree. It hits me that as I decorate our tree, his ornaments will not be put up by him, only by one of us. I guess last year I was still in shock with it all....and this year it has hit me hard.
I'm not sure if Linsy and the babies will get to be here for Thanksgiving or Christmas. She lives too far away from me and I don't like it!! It hurts me that I don't get to see her as often as I need to. I miss her so much! At times I feel like I've lost her too!
Lezly has her good days and bad days....but I've realized that the good days are few and far between. I know how hard she's fighting for those good days. I'm trying to fight right beside her too....but it gets hard. And if it's hard for me to continue fighting, I know it HAS to be so much harder for her. And that hurts me.
And Wade....bless his heart. He has endured so much pain with all this and yet he has been so strong. Having to be strong for not only himself but for us girls too! He has been my rock throughout all this....but I know he's hurting too. I worry about his health with all this stress and the heartaches. And it scares me.
Lord, I so need your help!! How can I be there for my family when I can't even be there for myself? How can I be strong for them when I can't even be strong for myself?
Today I'm struggling.....but hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I've learned.....
I've been thinking about things I've learned in the past 2 years...actually probably longer than that but the past year or two has been at the forefront of my mind. Things change so fast. In the blink of an eye sometimes. In a heartbeat. In a breath. Again I will say that I do not write these things for you...I write them for me. It's very therapeutic for me when I can see my feelings written out. Somehow it doesn't make my life seem so hellish and it helps me deal with it. So if you read this, I appreciate you taking the time and caring. If you don't, well that's okay too...it's not gonna kill me, break my legs or make me ugly. (that's something I always told my kids when they didn't wanna do something I told them to do. LOL)
As many of you know, the past 2 years we've had more than our share of heartaches, illnesses, and losses. We've struggled with what Life has dealt us but yet we've held on to God and each other and we've survived. Well...we're surviving. Doing the best we can with what we've got and trying to make it all worthwhile. But through it all I've learned so much. Yet I know I still have so much more to learn.
Here are some of the things I've learned:
>I've learned that time is short with our loved ones and we must make our time with them as memorable and as loving as we can.
>I've learned that there are things beyond my control and there is NOTHING I can do to change it...no matter how much I want to.
>I've learned that just because you are "family" doesn't mean you can use that as a right to hurt me or say rude, inconsiderate words to me. And it doesn't give me the right to do the same to you.
>I've learned that family and friends won't always be there for me, support my decisions, or help me in my struggles.
>I've learned that just because you don't THINK something will happen, doesn't mean it won't.
>I've learned that strangers can become best friends and best friends can become strangers.
>I've learned that parents often outlive their children.
>I've learned that no matter how hard and stressful my life is, there is always someone who has it worse.
>I've learned that just because I taught my kids about God and taught them right from wrong, they get to the age that they make their own decisions and all I can do is pray for them to make the right ones.
>I've learned that no matter how I want things to turn out...they seldom do.
>I've learned that even when I don't feel like smiling, I can fake it really good.
>I've learned that it's okay to ask for help, even when there is no one there to help me.
>I've learned that money isn't everything...but time is.
>I've learned that there are those who surprise me....some in a good way, some not so much.
>I've learned those I thought would never leave me, did. And those I thought would, didn't.
>I've learned that just because you share the same blood doesn't mean you share the same hopes, dreams, and worries.
>I've learned blood isn't what makes a family. Love is.
>I've learned that it's okay to stay awake all night and sleep all day. It works for me.
>I've learned that it's my life and I'm the one who has to live it. I will stand before God concerning my stuff, not you.
>I've learned that going to church every time the doors are open, doesn't mean I have a free ride to Heaven. It's so much more than that. I've also learned that God loves me regardless if I go to church or not.
>I've learned that I have so much more love, respect and compassion for those who struggle with illnesses, death, and tragedies.
>I've learned that it's okay to say "I'm having a rough day" or "today I'm struggling".
>I've learned that not everyone understands me or my life, or even cares to try to understand. And it's okay.
>I've learned that I expect too much from people and I'm usually disappointed.
>I've learned that when I think I can't go one more day or even one more step, God gives me the strength to go on.
>I've learned that thinking positive may help the attitude but it really doesn't help the physical.
>I've learned that music can heal the soul. So can screaming, crying, writing, and talking.
>I've learned that burying my only son, my firstborn, my child was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
>I've learned that there are times that we cannot protect our children...no matter how hard we try.
>I've learned that things can change so fast....and other things change over time.
>I've learned that no matter how much you want things to be different, sometimes it doesn't work that way.
>I've learned that we all have a cross to bear and most times we have to bear it alone.
>I've learned that a hug can cure the "blues".
>I've learned that a beautiful day can be sunny or rainy...depends on what you find beautiful about it.
>I've learned to appreciate nature and I can see God's hand in it.
>I've learned that 50 is not old....neither is 80.
>I've learned that it's okay to not clean house every day or to leave the dishes for the next meal. Spending time with my loved ones is more important.
>I've learned the value of a dollar, a quarter, a dime, a nickel or even a penny.
>I've learned it's okay to not clean out Luc's closet. I can still go in there and smell him on his clothes.
>I've learned that grief is not something you can just "get over" like the flu. And it's okay to still be feeling the "effects" even after a year or two...or even 14.
>I've learned to realize how many "firsts" there are without him. First holiday, first birthday, first football game, first camping trip, first vacation. As my friend Sarah says, "we are a family of 5 minus 1". Of course, the numbers have changed because of grandkids but we're still "minus 1".
>I've learned that being a little overweight is okay....as long as I am happy and my husband still thinks I'm gorgeous.
>I've learned that fighting for something even when I'm tired is better than giving up.
>I've learned that photographs say so much even when you don't want to see/hear what they are saying.
>I've learned that everyone has different opinions and it's okay. We don't all have to agree.
>I've learned that sometimes saying nothing is for the best....but sometimes saying nothing can be hurtful.
>I've learned that sarcasm and sincerity are two things that can be misunderstood when typed, texted, or written.
>I've learned that I am a strong woman.....even when I don't feel so strong.
>I've learned that it's the little things that have become more important to me. A smile, a hug, a cold Coca-Cola, a Hershey bar, a note from a friend, a text, a funny story.
>I've learned that some people lie, cheat, steal......doesn't mean I have to.
>I've learned that just because I pray about something doesn't mean that it'll be enough to change the situation...but I still pray.
>I've learned that Life is hard. It's sad. It's painful. It's stressful. It's lonely. But it can also be beautiful.
>I've learned that no matter how much I make sure my family is taken care of, sometimes I fail. I do what I can and sometimes it's not enough. Doesn't mean I should stop "doing".
>I've learned that sometimes a cure is not meant for us....that's okay. As long as we keep God first and foremost then we will make it.
There is so much more stuff I've learned. I'm still learning things every day. The main thing I've learned is that Wade, Lezly, Linsy, Brexton, Braylee, and myself are a team. And as long as we stick together, we can get through anything....the ups, the downs, the rough patches, the happy times. As individuals we are weak but as a team we are strong. We inspire each other. We support each other. We listen, we talk, we cry, we encourage, we pray....for each other, with each other.
I thank you, Lord, for my family and for my friends.....I am truly blessed. Thank you for my strength, Lord...for I could not do this alone. Thank you for standing beside me, for loving me, for showing me Your Grace and Mercy! Amen
As many of you know, the past 2 years we've had more than our share of heartaches, illnesses, and losses. We've struggled with what Life has dealt us but yet we've held on to God and each other and we've survived. Well...we're surviving. Doing the best we can with what we've got and trying to make it all worthwhile. But through it all I've learned so much. Yet I know I still have so much more to learn.
Here are some of the things I've learned:
>I've learned that time is short with our loved ones and we must make our time with them as memorable and as loving as we can.
>I've learned that there are things beyond my control and there is NOTHING I can do to change it...no matter how much I want to.
>I've learned that just because you are "family" doesn't mean you can use that as a right to hurt me or say rude, inconsiderate words to me. And it doesn't give me the right to do the same to you.
>I've learned that family and friends won't always be there for me, support my decisions, or help me in my struggles.
>I've learned that just because you don't THINK something will happen, doesn't mean it won't.
>I've learned that strangers can become best friends and best friends can become strangers.
>I've learned that parents often outlive their children.
>I've learned that no matter how hard and stressful my life is, there is always someone who has it worse.
>I've learned that just because I taught my kids about God and taught them right from wrong, they get to the age that they make their own decisions and all I can do is pray for them to make the right ones.
>I've learned that no matter how I want things to turn out...they seldom do.
>I've learned that even when I don't feel like smiling, I can fake it really good.
>I've learned that it's okay to ask for help, even when there is no one there to help me.
>I've learned that money isn't everything...but time is.
>I've learned that there are those who surprise me....some in a good way, some not so much.
>I've learned those I thought would never leave me, did. And those I thought would, didn't.
>I've learned that just because you share the same blood doesn't mean you share the same hopes, dreams, and worries.
>I've learned blood isn't what makes a family. Love is.
>I've learned that it's okay to stay awake all night and sleep all day. It works for me.
>I've learned that it's my life and I'm the one who has to live it. I will stand before God concerning my stuff, not you.
>I've learned that going to church every time the doors are open, doesn't mean I have a free ride to Heaven. It's so much more than that. I've also learned that God loves me regardless if I go to church or not.
>I've learned that I have so much more love, respect and compassion for those who struggle with illnesses, death, and tragedies.
>I've learned that it's okay to say "I'm having a rough day" or "today I'm struggling".
>I've learned that not everyone understands me or my life, or even cares to try to understand. And it's okay.
>I've learned that I expect too much from people and I'm usually disappointed.
>I've learned that when I think I can't go one more day or even one more step, God gives me the strength to go on.
>I've learned that thinking positive may help the attitude but it really doesn't help the physical.
>I've learned that music can heal the soul. So can screaming, crying, writing, and talking.
>I've learned that burying my only son, my firstborn, my child was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
>I've learned that there are times that we cannot protect our children...no matter how hard we try.
>I've learned that things can change so fast....and other things change over time.
>I've learned that no matter how much you want things to be different, sometimes it doesn't work that way.
>I've learned that we all have a cross to bear and most times we have to bear it alone.
>I've learned that a hug can cure the "blues".
>I've learned that a beautiful day can be sunny or rainy...depends on what you find beautiful about it.
>I've learned to appreciate nature and I can see God's hand in it.
>I've learned that 50 is not old....neither is 80.
>I've learned that it's okay to not clean house every day or to leave the dishes for the next meal. Spending time with my loved ones is more important.
>I've learned the value of a dollar, a quarter, a dime, a nickel or even a penny.
>I've learned it's okay to not clean out Luc's closet. I can still go in there and smell him on his clothes.
>I've learned that grief is not something you can just "get over" like the flu. And it's okay to still be feeling the "effects" even after a year or two...or even 14.
>I've learned to realize how many "firsts" there are without him. First holiday, first birthday, first football game, first camping trip, first vacation. As my friend Sarah says, "we are a family of 5 minus 1". Of course, the numbers have changed because of grandkids but we're still "minus 1".
>I've learned that being a little overweight is okay....as long as I am happy and my husband still thinks I'm gorgeous.
>I've learned that fighting for something even when I'm tired is better than giving up.
>I've learned that photographs say so much even when you don't want to see/hear what they are saying.
>I've learned that everyone has different opinions and it's okay. We don't all have to agree.
>I've learned that sometimes saying nothing is for the best....but sometimes saying nothing can be hurtful.
>I've learned that sarcasm and sincerity are two things that can be misunderstood when typed, texted, or written.
>I've learned that I am a strong woman.....even when I don't feel so strong.
>I've learned that it's the little things that have become more important to me. A smile, a hug, a cold Coca-Cola, a Hershey bar, a note from a friend, a text, a funny story.
>I've learned that some people lie, cheat, steal......doesn't mean I have to.
>I've learned that just because I pray about something doesn't mean that it'll be enough to change the situation...but I still pray.
>I've learned that Life is hard. It's sad. It's painful. It's stressful. It's lonely. But it can also be beautiful.
>I've learned that no matter how much I make sure my family is taken care of, sometimes I fail. I do what I can and sometimes it's not enough. Doesn't mean I should stop "doing".
>I've learned that sometimes a cure is not meant for us....that's okay. As long as we keep God first and foremost then we will make it.
There is so much more stuff I've learned. I'm still learning things every day. The main thing I've learned is that Wade, Lezly, Linsy, Brexton, Braylee, and myself are a team. And as long as we stick together, we can get through anything....the ups, the downs, the rough patches, the happy times. As individuals we are weak but as a team we are strong. We inspire each other. We support each other. We listen, we talk, we cry, we encourage, we pray....for each other, with each other.
I thank you, Lord, for my family and for my friends.....I am truly blessed. Thank you for my strength, Lord...for I could not do this alone. Thank you for standing beside me, for loving me, for showing me Your Grace and Mercy! Amen
Sunday, October 24, 2010
We fight....
I hate CF. I hate it so much!! I hate what it's done to our family. I hate what it's taken from us. I hate what it's still taking from us.
We fight it and fight it. We've fought it for over 25 years and yet where has it gotten us? We fight it....and for what? For us to lose our son? For us to go into the hospital every 3 months? For us to get a Port...and probably a feeding tube? For us to have maybe 1 good day out of the week?
I hate CF and I hate what it did to my son and I hate what it's doing to my daughter!
Yet we continue to fight. Even on days we don't feel like fighting. Days that would be easier to give up than to fight. But we fight. With all we've got. We fight.
We're so tired.....but we have to fight. Because if we don't fight.... ='(
We fight it and fight it. We've fought it for over 25 years and yet where has it gotten us? We fight it....and for what? For us to lose our son? For us to go into the hospital every 3 months? For us to get a Port...and probably a feeding tube? For us to have maybe 1 good day out of the week?
I hate CF and I hate what it did to my son and I hate what it's doing to my daughter!
Yet we continue to fight. Even on days we don't feel like fighting. Days that would be easier to give up than to fight. But we fight. With all we've got. We fight.
We're so tired.....but we have to fight. Because if we don't fight.... ='(
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
As we start on week 4....
Well, we're still here. In this small room. In this hospital. 100 miles and 2 hours away from home. We are starting on week 4. And today is a crummy day. Lezly sounds and feels more congested. She's throwing up and blowing her nose. She's running fever. She's sleeping. She's not eating as well. And I too am feeling quite cruddy. I have a sore throat. A headache. Fever. I'm tired. Oh so very tired. And we are so ready to go home.
Home. 100 miles away. 2 hours away. Home. Yes we are so ready to go home. But we're here until we're good enough to go home. No one understands what we go through here. Everyone tells me to think positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts. Hmm. Well...I'm positive that my baby is dying from this ugly disease. I'm positive that we've been in this hospital for almost 4 weeks. I'm positive that Lezly and I are alone here. I'm positive that friends and family are not always there for us. I'm positive that I hate CF. I'm positive that I'm tired. How are these for positives?
Oh and one more positive...I'm positive we're starting on week 4 in this small room. In this hospital. 100 miles and 2 hours away from home.
Home. 100 miles away. 2 hours away. Home. Yes we are so ready to go home. But we're here until we're good enough to go home. No one understands what we go through here. Everyone tells me to think positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts. Hmm. Well...I'm positive that my baby is dying from this ugly disease. I'm positive that we've been in this hospital for almost 4 weeks. I'm positive that Lezly and I are alone here. I'm positive that friends and family are not always there for us. I'm positive that I hate CF. I'm positive that I'm tired. How are these for positives?
Oh and one more positive...I'm positive we're starting on week 4 in this small room. In this hospital. 100 miles and 2 hours away from home.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Friends.....
Okay so we've been in the hospital for almost a week and I always learn alot about people while we're here...the old and young. So, I've been doing some thinking these past few days about "friends" and what they mean. But two questions keep coming to my mind over and over: WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND? AND WHAT DO I MEAN TO YOU?
I'm in a place in my life where I NEED my friends. Not acquaintances, not someone who knows my name, not someone who's heard of me before...but I NEED TRUE friends. I NEED friends who care about me and what's going on in my life. I NEED friends who will encourage me, pray for me, love me. I NEED friends who will be by my side while I grieve for my son or while I sit at the hospital with my daughter. I NEED friends who will HELP me find my joy when I seem to have lost it. I NEED friends who will rejoice with me when something good happens and cry with me when the bad happens. I NEED friends who have my back through the good times and the bad.
Now let me tell you what I DO NOT NEED! I DO NOT NEED "friends" who ignore me. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who are jealous when good things come my way. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who will not stand beside me when I am scared. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who discourage me and bring me down. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who look at me with disdain...or who roll their eyes when I'm having a rough day. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who think of my "friendship" as just a name and number on their facebook page. No, these are NOT the kind of "friends" that I NEED.
And speaking of facebook, seriously why HIDE "friends"? Why not just delete? Is it because you don't want your "friends" list number to go down? We're adults...no longer in high school. This is not a popularity contest. Being a name on a "friends" list....that's NOT what it's all about. Do you ever have a NEED for a TRUE friend? Do you go to your "friends" list to find that friend or do you already know who you can count on...who will be there for you? Honestly, do you KNOW all the "friends" on your list? Do you KNOW their struggles, their fears, their dreams, their life? Do you even CARE about that person on your "friends" list?
So this is my thing.....I want to be there for my friends when they need me. I want to encourage you, pray for you, make you smile, help you forget about your heartaches even if it's just for a couple of hours. I want to stand WITH you, stand up FOR you, and HELP you stand when you haven't the strength. I want to KNOW your fears, your dreams, your hurts, your triumphs. I want to be a TRUE friend! Do you?
I WANT TRUE FRIENDS! I WANT REAL FRIENDS! CAN YOU BE THAT TO ME? BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO BE THAT FOR ME, THEN IT'S TIME TO SAY BYE-BYE. IT'S YOUR CHOICE. GUESS WE'LL SEE......
I'm in a place in my life where I NEED my friends. Not acquaintances, not someone who knows my name, not someone who's heard of me before...but I NEED TRUE friends. I NEED friends who care about me and what's going on in my life. I NEED friends who will encourage me, pray for me, love me. I NEED friends who will be by my side while I grieve for my son or while I sit at the hospital with my daughter. I NEED friends who will HELP me find my joy when I seem to have lost it. I NEED friends who will rejoice with me when something good happens and cry with me when the bad happens. I NEED friends who have my back through the good times and the bad.
Now let me tell you what I DO NOT NEED! I DO NOT NEED "friends" who ignore me. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who are jealous when good things come my way. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who will not stand beside me when I am scared. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who discourage me and bring me down. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who look at me with disdain...or who roll their eyes when I'm having a rough day. I DO NOT NEED "friends" who think of my "friendship" as just a name and number on their facebook page. No, these are NOT the kind of "friends" that I NEED.
And speaking of facebook, seriously why HIDE "friends"? Why not just delete? Is it because you don't want your "friends" list number to go down? We're adults...no longer in high school. This is not a popularity contest. Being a name on a "friends" list....that's NOT what it's all about. Do you ever have a NEED for a TRUE friend? Do you go to your "friends" list to find that friend or do you already know who you can count on...who will be there for you? Honestly, do you KNOW all the "friends" on your list? Do you KNOW their struggles, their fears, their dreams, their life? Do you even CARE about that person on your "friends" list?
So this is my thing.....I want to be there for my friends when they need me. I want to encourage you, pray for you, make you smile, help you forget about your heartaches even if it's just for a couple of hours. I want to stand WITH you, stand up FOR you, and HELP you stand when you haven't the strength. I want to KNOW your fears, your dreams, your hurts, your triumphs. I want to be a TRUE friend! Do you?
I WANT TRUE FRIENDS! I WANT REAL FRIENDS! CAN YOU BE THAT TO ME? BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO BE THAT FOR ME, THEN IT'S TIME TO SAY BYE-BYE. IT'S YOUR CHOICE. GUESS WE'LL SEE......
Thursday, September 9, 2010
3rd time.....
Well here we are.....in the hospital.....again. This makes the 3rd time this year. I remember a time when it was 5 yrs or so in between hospital stays. What has happened? Where have I gone wrong? Is it even my fault? I don't know. Right now all I can think about is....this makes the 3rd time this year. Makes me more sad. Makes me more scared. Makes me more worried. And now the port is being mentioned again. I know it will be better and easier. But it makes me think she may be getting worse...and I don't wanna go there. I'm not ready for that. Not ready at all. I'll never be ready for that. We need a cure!!! Not only for my child but for all the children. All the moms and dads. All the brothers and sisters. Yes we need the cure!!! Because we're losing our children to this awful disease every day. We're losing our moms, dads, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends. And Lez and I are here....in the hospital....again....for the 3rd time this year. =(
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