Wow....it's been awhile

This is my first post in about a year......wow time really does fly by! Let's see what's new....hmm....
Well, Linsy is pregnant again and will have our 4th grandchild in June. It's a boy and his name will be Britton. Lezly was in the hospital in December. We got out on the 22nd or 23rd......cutting it close for Christmas. She was in the hospital again the last of February/first of March. Yes we were in on the 3rd (the anniversary of Luc's death). It was a very very VERY difficult time!! We got out on March 11. On April 6th she started the new cf drug, Kalydeco. She went for her checkup last week and got an excellent report!! Her pfts improved by 24% and her xrays showed a clearing in an area that has always been cloudy! We praise the Good Lord for that!! Wade is still working at Walmart but is hoping for a job change soon. He has a prospect of a job with better pay and closer to home. Fingers crossed it comes through soon!! Me? Well, I'm still taking things one step at a time. Still dealing with body pain, still dealing with depression. Trying to get back into crafting and sewing but it's a slow process. Still not being able to sleep without an aid and still would rather sleep during the day than at night. Trying to exercise some but it's hard to do when you're in pain. *sigh*

Mother's Day came and once again it was just another day. My 1st reason for celebrating this day is spending his 3rd Mother's Day in Heaven. My 2nd reason for celebrating has her own family and lives away. My 3rd reason was here but never told me "Happy Mother's Day" but she did buy me a Coke so I guess that made up for it. My husband, whose children I bore, didn't tell me "Happy Mother's Day" until he got to work and then he sent me a text telling me. No gifts, no cards, no breakfast or dinner cooked for me, nothing. I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of everything. See....just another day.
I've been a Mom for almost 28 yrs. I made mistakes, I learned as I went, you know children do NOT come with instructions. I did the best I could, and still do, altho I guess it's not good enough. I was told that our children have issues and that I'm the cause of those issues. I was told that the insecurities, the hurt feelings, the lack of confidence and ambition that my children have: it's all my fault. I sat there and listened. I took it all in. And I realized that yes I may have contributed to these things in my offspring but I don't feel that I'm totally to blame! But maybe I am.....I don't know. Again, kids don't come with instructions! And I'm not trying to guilt anyone or have a "woe is me" party.....I just needed to get this out.

So now I'm just taking things slowly. Not trying to be overbearing or bossy. Not trying to be nagging or advising......just being quite. Doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. Of course, I get the "what's wrong?" and "are you okay?" questions but all I'm saying is "I'm fine".

F=frustrated
I=insecure
N=neurotic
E=emotional

Yep, I'm FINE! How about you? =)