Well today was a rough day for me. Down in the dumps, aggravated, tired...just feeling defeated. I miss my son so bad today!! Why can't anyone understand that I'm still grieving? That it's not something you get over in a few days, weeks, months or years? I struggle, I cry, I get discouraged, I want to give up! Do you know what it's like to have dreams that you know will never happen? Do you know what it's like to look forward to nothing? Do you know what it's like to lose a child, A CHILD, to a disease and then have to continue watching your other child dying from the same disease? And your other child, a non-CFer, is in an abusive relationship, is pregnant with her 3rd child, and isn't in a loving atmosphere but refuses to leave? Do you know what that's like? It's. Stress. Worry. Exhaustion. Defeat. Please don't tell me how blessed I am or how I need to look at the bright side of things. I know I'm blessed and I know there are bright spots in this life...but right now I see none. I see none....not now. Not ever.