Life...

So I was sitting here thinking of what it really means to LIVE! We are born to serve a purpose on this earth...and when we fulfill that purpose, our time here is over. I've been on this planet for 44 years and I'm still not sure what my purpose is. Growing up all I wanted was to get married and have children and grandchildren...well I've done that. Of course, my life hasn't been easy...at all!! I've endured many dreams gone awry, many damages caused by LIFE, and I have discovered so many things. My dreams of a healthy and happy family didn't come true...for the most part. We have had damages caused by illnesses and struggles. And I have discovered that not everything is what it seems. We hide a lot of our emotions, fears, disappointments. We're scared to show excitement and hope for things we cannot fully see. We cry ourselves to sleep or when we're alone to keep anyone seeing our weaknesses. But God is always good!! I am so thankful for the wonderful man He allowed me to have, the wonderful children and grandchildren. I am so blessed to be living in this country of freedoms. I am so blessed to have a home, running water, food in my belly, clothes on my body. I am thankful for a bed to sleep in. I am thankful for friends, laughter, love. I am so blessed!!! And yet...I struggle to be happy. To feel alive. To live. I struggle...and no one understands why. And so every day I search for my purpose. I realize that regardless of what happens in my day, I enjoy the little things of LIFE...and THAT is what it truly means to live. Or that's how I see it today!