It hurts!!!

It hurts to see your child sick and hurting and knowing there's nothing you can do to help. It hurts to hear her cough so much you're afraid she's gonna rip out her throat or cough up a lung (literally). It hurts to hear her puke from coughing so much. It hurts to see her exhausted and out of breath after a coughing spell. It hurts to see the dark circles under her eyes. It hurts to hear her gasp for a deep breath knowing that the coughing is about to start again. It hurts to hear her moan from the pain she feels when she breathes, coughs, pukes. It hurts to know she's not getting enough rest, enough food, enough good days. It hurts to see her health deteriorate as the days drift by. It hurts to know that it's only been a week since she got out of the hospital and already we wonder if we should go back. How did it get this far this fast? How did it come upon us without our knowledge? What has happened? Where did we go wrong? We try our best to do what's right and healthy and beneficial and yet...it seems it's all for nothing. Nothing but heartache, sickness, fear, worry. When will it get better? When will the good days outnumber the bad? I hate CF...I HATE CF...I HATE IT!! I hate it just as much as she does!! Oh God....it hurts!!!